Barbecue Spider

 Ever plan something small but good only to have it get all bugged up? Last night I planned on grilling some delicious salmon for dinner, yet I became aware of a small problem with our gas grill. After letting the grill preheat I went back outside with the fish and noticed the right burner was not lit, yet the valve was set to high. I turned off the right burner and then tried to lite it again on the higher 'lighting' setting; it lit but went out when I turned the knob to high. I thought for a bit.......well a few seconds, and then re-lit the right side and left the right burner on the highest burner setting, 'lighting', and watched it. At first the burner fluctuated from being skimpily barely a lit, to ferociously flaring out like I was pouring lighter fluid on it. I wasn't adding lighter fluid, and I don't even own any if you were in some kind of delusion that I was, or am a pyromaniac. I'm not. A little after a minute of the fluctuating flame business I got a big surprise when the right side went out and seconds later ignited under the grill where the burner and the valves connect. First thought, hand toward fire to turn off the valve. Why? Prevent explosion; I used to work on high-pressure gas wells and I guess it is just a left over reflex, not that I ever had to put out any well fires. I was a little freaked out, a little miffed, and most certainly confused as to why the fairly new grill was acting up. After a minute or two I grabbed the fish, put it on a foil lined jellyroll pan and added some butter and olive oil to it then broiled it in the oven. While cooking the fish in the oven Sam and I hear, BANG! and we both look at each other and say "what the hell was that?" and we both head to the kitchen. Out of the oven there is a little bit of smoke seeping out of the door, and I'm thinking "well fuck, I guess I'm going to catch everything on fire tonight", but luckily the smoke was just some of the spattering oil burning off and the bang was the jellyroll pan contorting in the heat. After the fish finally cooked we enjoyed it's tasty goodness, but I wondered what they heck was wrong with my grill.

I really couldn't imagine what the problem could be with the BBQ because it is only a few months old, and it had been working fine. It wouldn't seem to be a problem from assembling because it would have gone wrong months ago, so I wondered if it was a manufacturing problem. I started to think that Char-broil had screwed me and I was really getting agitated. I looked online and didn't find anything about my specific grill, but i did see some stuff about people pissed off at Char-broil because they will not fix problems with their grills. Disheartened I resolved to try to figure out what exactly was wrong with my hunk of junk, and see if it could be repaired. From the way the right burner was acting I figured it was a clog as something further down the line would have effected the left burner. I disconnected the crap keeping the burner module in place, and son of a bee sting I busted the wire connection to the ignitor start. Once I finally had the burner out I blew into each of the two venturi-tubes (the right venturi tube shown below), and sure enough the right one was noticeably restricted. 'Hmmmm, I know I'll shove some wire up there and see if that makes a difference', it didn't, but I did notice spider webs on the end of the wire when I pulled it out. I really don't see how a spider big enough to cause a blockage could get in there but I figured I should get it out if there was one in there. I turned the tube toward the side-table of the grill and started tapping and after only a few seconds, VOILA! the culprit had been found. I'm pretty sure the trespasser had been barbecued to death the night before, so the capital punishment was accidental; but I would have totally killed that fucker had I caught it alive. I'm thinking of just repairing the stupid wire to the ignitor and returning the burner to the grill and seeing if the dang thing will work, but I have asked Sam what she thinks because blowing myself up over $20 seems stupid. I still don't see how that spider got in there as all the opening I am aware of are way smaller than that guy.